The Runaway Cart

An amateur flight attendant gazes out of the emergency exit window at the sunset, while sitting in the jumpseat of an E-190 plane. The clouds make formations of mountains and crevices that are a comparatively impressive, but softer Grand Canyon. She’s on initial probation, with two months remaining, and not yet jaded by the view. The first chime signals that her services are needed.

“Okay, honey,” an old colleague drawls, “You wanna be in the front of the cart or back?” The woman starts unlatching bins needed for drink service.

“Front,” she says. The newbie glances down at the woman’s flat-soled shoes and tells herself to take note on that. The girl is ending a long day in mid-heeled pumps. It would be more than difficult to pour drinks while walking backward- with or without turbulence. In her partner’s 40 plus years of experience, she’s acquired many job hacks to make flight attending easier.

Making their way down the narrow aisle with a beverage cart, she is careful of the loose limbs, stray bags, and stretching passengers in their path.

“Watch your foot… Excuse me, watch your elbow…”
She accidentally brushes against a passenger who is startled awake. “I’m so sorry, sir,” the girl says.

The two of them are moving quickly through the chore since there are only sixteen commuters on a 97 maximum capacity flight. As flight attendants, only 10 percent of their training was on customer service. The other 90 percent focused on minute safety detail – from the direction of door handle rotations to which overhead compartment contains the AED defibrillator.

They have been going back and forth from Boston and LaGuardia since sunrise. Finally, they are finishing up the fourth leg of the day and looking forward to the fifth leg back to the Philadelphia base. The girl returns her cart to its cubby and secures the latches and brakes. Stepping into the restroom, she quickly applies the signature red lipstick and adjusts her compression stockings.

A bell chimes, signaling the initial descent. They’re twenty minutes out. Picking up the microphone, she looks at her script.
“As we prepare for landing, be sure your seatback is upright and tray tables are secured. If you have any items to discard, please pass them to us as we come through the aisle.”

Once all trash is collected and stowed, two bells sound to prepare for landing. It is time to take their jump-seats. The senior flight attendant is in the front near the cockpit and newbie straps in, in the back galley. The lights and noise levels dim. She puts her hands palm-up under her thighs, tilts her head back on the rest and does her silent review. “6 exits… 2 over the wings… Okay, now, what are my commands?”

A hefty man in his thirties is sitting in the last row on aircraft right. He will be her able-bodied passenger to assist if there’s an emergency. Before taking the jumpseat, it is the rear attendant’s responsibility to do one final galley check of all cart locks and latches. One step missed…

She looks back at the hefty passenger and catches movement to the right of her gaze. The plane’s descent has jarred loose the 150 to 200-pound beverage cart. She lunges and grips the handle with the tips of her fingers as it creeps out of its compartment. Her seatbelt imprisons her. She fiddles to unlock it with her free hand. Strain shoots up her right arm to her shoulder, then to her neck, as she silently holds on.

She loses her grip and quickly unbuckles out of the jumpseat. The drink cart has made it halfway through the cabin and is picking up speed. None of the passengers seem to notice. The cart goes in a smooth and straight line until it tips forward onto its door.

It slides.

It tumbles twice.

Unlike most plane models, this aisle indents at First Class, putting a passenger seat right in the path of the runaway cart. The longest minute of the young woman’s life is now realized by everyone.

Ultimately, the beverage cart clears 30 rows before making its final destination into the back of seat 3D. Whiplash from this passenger, a man with a bruised elbow, minor damage to a hand-rest, and a completely demolished cart. Almost simultaneously, everyone turns around and questions the flight attendant with their eyes. There is no script in the blue book for this one.

Shakily, she picks up the intercom phone.

“Everyone, please remain calm and seated. Raise your hand if you need a bag of ice.”

The Mountains of Mexico

 

IMG_9901

With containers in hand, we walked a mile to retrieve “pulque”, an alcoholic drink that’s extracted from an agave plant. This beverage will make sporadic appearances in a few upcoming blogs…

 

 

The Eighth Wonder

Lists of the Seven Wonders of the World have been constructed from the Ancient Greek Herodotus of 425 BCE to today’s online voters (1). Each of these lists has missed out on the architectural beauty that exists in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. Rich in varying textures and usage, its buildings and landscapes include ancient mud-thatched forts neighboring contemporary shopping centers.

Al-Faisaliyah Tower is one of these steel constructions of 30 floors made to resemble a ball-point pen, as the reflective golden globe restaurant rotates at its axis. Pictured on many postcards, Al-Faisaliyah was the tallest building in Saudi Arabia in 2000 (2), allowing its diners to view as far as the deserts through floor to ceiling, triangular panes. A year later, Kingdom Tower, 65-stories of ultra-modern accommodations took its record (2). It places as the world’s third tallest building with a parabolic arch (3).  Its peaks connect on the 99th floor by a sky bridge with panoramic views (4). Out of the three entry levels of luxury shopping, the first is open to general public. While, following cultural practice of gender segregation, the next two floors are reserved solely for female shoppers and staff. Here, one would find skinny jeans from Saks 5th Avenue to go beneath an abaya from Bedoon Essm.

Traveling north through the business district of Olaya and then following highways west to the desert, sculptures of an older medium are found. Built of mud and thatch, the ancient city of Al Diriyah was established in 1744 to serve as a military fortress against the Ottoman Empire (5). Once called ‘Najd’, meaning western-lying area, Diriyah sits on the outskirts of modern-day Riyadh and is the original home of the Saudi royal family (6). The siege of Diriyah, in 1818, caused its rulers to flee the damaged fort and rebuild a new life in Riyadh (5).

After many years of abandonment, a major restoration project started in 2000, keeping with traditional architecture (5). Sites include ceilings made of exposed wooden poles, open air windows of triangular cut-outs, and large dungeon-like doors of blaring geometric designs. In 2010, the Turaif district of Diriyah, which includes Salwa Palace and archeological finds, was declared a UNESCO World Heritage site (5). Today, tourists can take part in traditional meals with floor-style seating, at Najd Village (7).

In contrast to the expected browns and beiges of the desert, Diriyah’s grounds are naturally sprinkled with date trees, streams, and greenery. On the edge of Diriyah lies Wadi Hanifa, a valley extending 75 miles from northwest to southeast. Traditional folklore presents a history of fertile farmland, which explains the origin of the city name Riyadh, ‘a garden’. As the capital city quickly expanded, pollution and climate change was found to be the cause of disturbed ecological balance, resulting in drought. While some areas of the wadi still remain dry, Ar-Riyad Development Authority has preserved parts of the wetlands for recreational activities (8).

Riyadh is a place that is often a mystery to those looking in from the outside. Its short history of vast development and the pressures to let things be, has produced a wondrous blend of old and new.

najd village

 

(1) Seven Wonders of the World

http://geography.about.com/od/lists/a/sevenwonders.htm

(2) Al-Faisaliyah Center

http://www.emporis.com/buildings/125879/al-faisaliyah-center-riyadh-saudi-arabia

(3) Kingdom Centre

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kingdom_Centre

(4) Kingdom Tower

http://www.lonelyplanet.com/saudi-arabia/riyadh/sights/architecture/kingdom-tower

(5) Ar Riyadh: The Birthplace of a Nation

https://video.search.yahoo.com/video/play;_ylt=A2KLqIERJntWhl8AiLw0nIlQ;_ylu=X3oDMTByNDY3bGRuBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDdmlkBHZ0aWQDBGdwb3MDNQ–?p=paul+mcdowell+euronews+al+diriyah&vid=3fdcd9b0a2e3ce4bfde85ffe001ca368&turl=http%3A%2F%2Ftse2.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DWN.CX9S6V7P%252fXdRkggK6LumWg%26pid%3D15.1%26h%3D168%26w%3D300%26c%3D7%26rs%3D1&rurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Daypq3lgP1uA&tit=Arriyadh%3A+The+Birthplace+Of+A+Nation+-+Life&c=4&h=168&w=300&l=301&sigr=11bj5p8j3&sigt=11bdahe5t&sigi=12nl9obgv&age=1413829903&fr2=p%3As%2Cv%3Av&hsimp=yhs-prodege_001&hspart=prodege&type=search_6&vm=p&param4=1270166858&tt=b

(6) About & History

http://www.seekteachers.com/country-info.asp?country_id=18&attribute_id=2165

(7) Najd Village

http://najdvillage.com/#c

(8) Wadi Hanifa

https://www.geocaching.com/seek/cache_details.aspx?wp=GC51R22&title=wadi-hanifah-stair-stepping

Top Ten Books that make you go “Hmmm..”

Being an avid reader, I always make time to find a good book. This is especially the case here in Saudi, where a lot of my time is idle. Here’s my top ten book reviews, in no particular order.

"The Kite Runner"

* “The Kite Runner” By: Khaled Hosseini

This is one of my all-time faves! Don’t let the title bore you. For that reason, I had this book on my shelf for years without opening it. All I knew of Afghanistan was war, terrorism, and poverty. So to see the start of this book portray Kabul as a beautiful ancient city, with wealthy sectors, and children who enjoy familiar activities, was an unexpected touch. This story is about a motherless young boy, named Amir, who struggles with his high social status and desire for his father’s affection and approval. He grows up with Hassan, his incredibly loyal servant boy. Just as most kids who are quick to make friends, they form a close relationship. So close, that Hassan’s 1st word was his boy-master’s name. However, this unique bond is challenged due to their tribal differences, jealousy, and a conspired separation. This book takes you through the family’s sudden decent during the war, Amir’s betrayal to his best friend, and their experiences escaping Kabul. This book gives a good mix of personal and political events, that makes it a page-turner with underlying Afghan history.

* “A Thousand Splendid Suns” By: Khaled Hosseini

After reading “The Kite Runner”, Hosseini was the author at the top of my radar. His 2nd book, “A Thousand Splendid Suns”, is a story of 3 generations of Afghan women, during the reign of the Taliban. One who is forced into a young marriage after the death of her mother. One who is orphaned due to war. And one who lives an isolated life because of an unsupported pregnancy. It’s easy to think that this would be a story of weak, quieted women, behind veils. However, these three have shown me that women, in general, no matter where in the world we are… we are fighters for love, freedom, and power. Their lives become intertwined for an unforgettable ending.

* “Left To Tell” By: Immaculee Ilibigiza

Immaculee was a student in Rwanda, who grew up in a highly respected family. The scenery of Mugabe and Lake Kivu is so vividly described that you imagine a vacation getaway, instead of the massacre that had transformed the country. Into her teenage years, Immaculee was quite naïve of the prejudices existing between the Hutu and Tutsi tribes of Rwanda. This alluring country was suddenly turned upside down by the Rwandan genocides, that led to over a million Tutsi deaths. Being an educated woman from a prominent Tutsi family, Immaculee was at the top of the “Wanted” list. After being split up from her family, a Hutu preacher took the risk of hiding her and 7 other women in a 4×3 bathroom, for 91 days. Every 12 hours they took turns sitting down in the cramped space. With only a toilet and a shower stall, flushing or running water was a risk of being caught, as they could hear the killers outside the window hunting for them. She struggled with hatred for the Hutu killers, until she found her only relief, through prayer. During these 3 months, is when Immaculee finds God; not by pleading for her life, but instead by learning to forgive her enemies. She was left to tell her story of survival.

* “Eat, Pray, Love”, By: Elizabeth Gilbert

Out of all of the books that I have read, I cannot find a more likeable character than “Liz”. She’s a recent divorcee, who realizes that she doesn’t want to waste away anymore time in depression and dwelling on the past. She unearths her old fun and carefree personality, frank humor, and wild curiosity as she decides to randomly hop a flight and find herself. Like most daydreamers, Liz takes in every event with all senses, and the dialogue of the story reflects a lot of her quirky thoughts. First she travels to Italy (to enjoy pleasure). Here she learns what it’s like to purposely lose track of time, enjoy food, and let loose. Then she goes to live in a monastery in India (to study the art of devotion). She learns to simply meditate until she finds healing from previous relationships. And lastly, in Indonesia, she builds unexpected relationships, where she learns to love again. This book is more for the open-minded, wannabe travelers, with big imaginations. The movie sucks in comparison, so read 1st. The quotes in this book are outstanding. You will highlight every page!

Two favorite quotes (so hard to narrow it down!)

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.”

You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.”
Elizabeth Gilbert,
Eat, Pray, Love

4 Hour Workweek”, By: Tim Ferriss

24 hours in a day, just doesn’t feel like enough time to work 2 jobs, cook, clean, plus squeeze in a workout. Lately it seems like everyone’s been working themselves to complete exhaustion, but not really having much to show for it. That is why I picked up this book! This book teaches you how to be smart with you time, work less, while making more money. It gives tips on how to convince your boss to let you work from home, how to put timed blocks on your computer so you don’t waste hours on social networks and email, how to give instructions to avoid back-and-forth questioning from employees, and also tells you how to afford “mini-retirements” throughout your career. It not only deals with work advice, but also how to get discounted airfare and free international housing. It advises on how to outsource even the simplest tasks, such as making and canceling appointments, so to free up time for larger tasks. And also how to afford random vacations and still make money while away. In summary, this book is definitely not a waste of time!

*“First They Killed My Father”, By: Loung Ung

Loung is a 5 year old girl, who lived in a middle class family, in Cambodia. Being of this status brought pride to the family, until the takeover of the Khmer Rouge, Pol Pot’s ruling party. The Khmers were of lower class, and sought to exterminate all Cambodians who were intellectuals. Luong tells of her and her family’s experiences during the Khmer Rouge genocides that killed over 1 million people through execution. The family spent days fleeing the city by foot, and faced months of starvation. After eventually being split up to increase their chances of survival, young Luong was made into child soldiers so to have a “better” life. This one will put a lump in your throat, to think of a child who has seen and gone through so much!

*“How to Win Friends and Influence People”, By: Dale Carnegie

This New York Times bestseller is helpful for everyone; whether you are shy, a sales person, or someone who often gives presentations. It teaches you how to receive positive responses when you talk to others. You will learn what exactly people want to hear and why we are wired that way. I first picked up this book thinking that it would give a lot of common sense tips. There are simple principles, such as, “Principle No 1: Don’t Criticize, Condemn or Complain”, “Principle No 2: Fulfill Others’ Desires to Feel Important”, and “Principle No 3: You Cannot Influence People by Telling Them What You Want”. However, these are things that I almost constantly need to be reminded of. So this book isn’t one of those ‘one-time’ reads, which makes me feel like I really got my money’s worth.

Abraham’s Well”, By: Sharon Ewell Foster

I first picked up this book years after my grandfather once told me that I had a great aunt that walked the “Trail of Tears”. At the time, he never went into detail, and I never asked for more. So when I read a synopsis on this book, about the Black Cherokees of North Carolina, I had to buy it! The main character, Armentia, is a young girl born on the edge of slavery while trying to still identify with her Cherokee side. This book has blunt details of the 1,000 mile forced movement of Cherokees from N.C. to Oklahoma and the difference of treatment between full-blood and half-blood Cherokees.. details that you’ll rarely find in textbooks. There are little sections of the story that drag, but be reassured that it will pick up again!

48 Laws of Power”, By: Robert Greene

I’m actually not anywhere near finished with this book. I started and left it in the States, due to its large size. But found a pocket-size copy here, last week. But the fact that it’s made it on my list this early on, should tell you that it’s an interesting read. This book may be a little controversial to some, only because it teaches you how to get ahead of the game, even if you have to step on someone else to get there. By the way, this book is written in the point of view of rulers and great leaders of the sciences. It quotes a lot from Machiavelli, who wrote the famous political piece “The Prince”, which advises on how to takeover kingdoms. So, I’d only advise people who already have high ethical standards to read this one. My reason for reading it: it gives an interesting touch on history and ties to modern day, it’s beautifully and uniquely written …. and most of all, to be less naïve of the conniving tactics some people take to get ahead, especially if it’s against me.

Bible for Dummies”, By: For Dummies series

I am far from being a wiz at my Biblical knowledge of “who did what, where, and why”. Many parts of the Bible can be up to interpretation. And this part, I actually do enjoy. However, there are parts where I’d like some nice hard facts; like, “What are the rules of Biblical war?”, “What was the exact route of the exodus out of Egypt?”.. This book goes deeper into the historical account of the Bible stories we learned as a child, gives explanation to Hebrew words, summarizes a text in modern-day language, and gives interesting geographical tidbits. It gives it’s own interpretation of some accounts, such as the presumed location of Sodom and Gomorrah. It is thought to be near the Dead Sea, which explains a lot about the fate of Lot’s wife. “The salt content of the Dead Sea is about 30%, making it impossible for anything to live in it (hence, the name). Yet, because of this high salt content, salt deposits appear all along its banks. Therefore, one walking through this region would notice a lot of “pillars of salt”. Jordan has never really been on my list of places to visit, but facts like these keeps my travel list growing!

**** What’s your favorite read?? Any suggestions on what I should check out next?****

You Would’ve Loved Her Too

Elegant, enchanting and well-spoken.. most called her “Bernie”, some “Queenie”. All of her qualities fit the perfect description of a “Lady”. So that’s what I called her.

Prom queen, Bernadine Kelley, of Morehead Nursing Home.

As a child, Lady’s house was the last place I wanted to go. Her place was filled with fancy white chaise lounges and plenty of breakables that she teasingly had out on display.  I was a 5 yr old who simply knew not to touch anything! This included the decorated marbled eggs, chiming capiz shelled chandeliers, and the life size asian doll made of fish bone.

At age 8, we packed up and moved to NC, with Lady in tow. At that moment, all I could think of was how I’d be constantly force-fed and assigned endless chores. Little did I know how critical she would be to hold our family together.

Lady knew how to intrigue and made an excellent teacher. How do you get kids to memorize scriptures of the Bible? With a challenge, a deadline, and a dollar. My little cousin and I were in such intense study mode.  Still to this day, Psalm 23 is the verse I recite when I’m anxious.

Her sister, son, and grandkids

Lady could strike up a conversation with anyone. As an introvert, I studied her fluidity. If your conversation lasted longer than 15 minutes and it happened to be around the holidays, you can count on her gifting you a lemon bundt-cake for Christmas.

In my pre-teen years, when everything was measured by how cool you are, I thought it was so un-cool when she’d randomly burst in song at church. She’d make her way to the front, hand someone a tambourine, and get the whole church into a Jericho march. Lady knew how to get a crowd going. Secretly, I wanted her courage.

I always thought of my Lady as brave. My bedroom was nestled safely in the center of the house. But I constantly worried of how her corner in-law suite had 3 doors that led to the outside. I asked her one time, if she was scared of someone breaking into one of these doors. “Well baby, if they get me, the Lord got me!” was her response.

Me and my Lady

I’d hear stories of her younger days, when she’d pack up her family and travel the world at the drop of a dime. And how she never returned without a collectable. Slowly, our house turned into a museum; a museum that she painstakingly taught me how to polish every Saturday morning. I grew to hate the smell of lemon “Old English” oil. Its thickness acted as a tattle-tale, letting her knew if a spot was missed. She’d start taking stuff off tables to reveal hidden dust and say her patented phrase, “Don’t be nice/nasty!”.. and then tack on another hour of polishing. I did polish some interesting pieces, though. All of her unique décor and travel stories played a huge part in how I saw the world. Whether it was wanting to be a cruise ship worker or moving 30 minutes from the North Korean border, she supported and bragged on all of my dreams.

Lady stretched out with her sister, in Jamaica

She filled the house with gospel music and threw her own personal service before church on Sundays. This was always the reason why she was the last one ready… that … and her picking out the right feathered hat to match her heels. Lady knew how to piece an outfit together. Even at the nursing home, Lady remained fancy; having her outfits matched up for the week, getting her nails and makeup done. You wouldn’t catch her in a hospital gown in the middle of the day!

Her advice was never really deep. But sometimes a simple “pray about it, baby” is all the advice you need. I always admired her prayers. I silently prayed at night that I could make mine flow as easily, filled with thankfulness, with such care for each individual, and never rushed.

Lady was one of a kind.

She spent her final 4yrs in Morehead Nursing Home. Her constant questioning of when she’d be able to come home was heart breaking. But the care that they provided, the genuine love that she got from nurses and volunteers, and the friendships she made was more than we could hope for her. With every visit, there was a new gift sitting on her desk. Each morning, my grandmother would thumb through her devotional and pick out a scripture to be posted on her door. Random strangers would stop by to read her messages and then she’d make yet another friend. She made her mark on that nursing home as the lady with “The Word of the Day”.

That’s the kind of person my grandmother was. Loving and loved.

Brother showing his grandma some love

She comfortably passed away in the peaceful setting of the hospice, August 29, 2012, with the most diverse cluster of family and guests visiting every 15 minutes.

The family supporting Lady’s “Rock-a-thon” (rocking chair, instead of walking) to raise money for cancer awareness

I am comforted with God’s timing of it all…

These last 2 weeks kind of came as a surprise to us all.

I was technically not supposed to receive a vacation this summer, but I did. I originally wasn’t going to vacation in the U.S., but I did. I wasn’t supposed to be on vacation throughout all of August, but with a few mess-ups from my company, the Visa expeditors, AND the Embassy.. I did. I was supposed to fly out this weekend, and once again, my time was extended. God allowed me to be by her bedside all the way up until her final passing. He’s allowing me to attend her service and reconnect with family members that I haven’t seen in years. Just like her placement in the nursing home, I believe that we all are where we are, when we are, for a reason.. whether we like it or not. And for that, I’m thankful that He dismisses a lot of our plans.

 

The ‘Post-It’ Note Syndrome

I think we all know a person who is extremely stringent on planning! Not only will they keep a basic calendar of birthdays.. but there’s the daily to-do list, timing of meals and water, and even scheduled times to read certain books and lectures. They wake up from a dream and immediately must write it down, in case it means something. Their purse is crowded with little post-it notes with lists; groceries, money calculations, calories, speed they need to run to finish in ‘x’ amount of time. You may call them an over-planner, a control-freak, excessively attentive to dates. Or take a positive approach of it being far-sighted, methodical, and prepared…

I just described myself. And I’ll say the definition falls somewhere in the middle. There are 3 things that I do to find that challenging balance.

1)   Find out the root to why you’re excessive:

What is the purpose of doing this? If it is to seriously keep you rolling effectively through your day, good. But you do not need to write the grocery list 5 times, especially if you haven’t lost the previous 4. If the total is $1.06 over your expected total, will it really be that big of a deal?

2)   Pick up good management books/podcasts:

*Four Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss, is a great time management book. It teaches you how to make smart moves with limited time, and promotes using outsourcing to save you on the stresses of planning.

*The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, is a Christian-based book, that teaches you how to focus more on God’s plan, instead of solely your own. During the 40 days of reading and journaling, you slowly start to chill out when things don’t quite go your way.

*YouTube podcasts of Jim Rohn, Zig Ziglar, and Brian Tracy. These three, I consider the ‘greats’ of time, money and business management. They’re not all ‘wordy’, either. Their comprehensible lectures are really worth the ITunes buy!

3) Keep your “words to live by” handy, when your inner control-freak rears its ugly head. Pick one that you truly believe in (when you’re not stressed). Sometimes this small reminder, is all you need to get back on track… Here’s mine that I go back to, and can always manage to make me smile..

*Listen here:

Or

*Read here:

 

Wear Sunscreen

By Mary Schmich of the Chicago Tribune

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’98: Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blind side you at 4 PM on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.

Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Sometimes my Students Teach Me

Topic: Jobs

 

“What is teacher major (vocab word) in university?”~Eman

 

“Well, I had 3 majors. French, Forensics, and Diplomacy.” (describing each) ~Me

 

Eman: “So why are you teacher?”..~Eman

 

Then they give me the Saudi “just one moment” sign, before I answer. They argue back and forth in Arabic, and come to the conclusion…

 

 “Teacher, because you are woman..?”~Eman

 

 

At that moment, I felt like crap of all the times I felt my job prospects, coincidences, and paths in life have seemed unfair.. I run into these girls, who are automatically disqualified and have their paths set for them, simply because of their gender. Our current status is more or less our fault.. determined by the moves that we were or were not willing to make in the past. We could’ve studied more to pass a test. Or could have taken an extra course to stay competitive in a job. We can commit to the full plan, to lose the weight. Yes, some things are a crap-shoot.. and simply happens. But today, my girls taught me to be a little more thankful that I’ve at least had a chance.

 

So, here’s to my Eman (future psychologist), Faten (future business woman), Afrah (future teacher), and Bashaer (future professional soccer player)… My few motivated ones, who are such hopeful dreamers to do something different. I pray that your country will see that you have more potential than any man..

 

What learning moment have you had while teaching??