Murder She Wrote

crazy kids

This class was a challenge. I bet you can guess which one needed the most attention… — with Ainny, Michael Jackson, Sarah, Peter, Mary, Jason, Jessica, Ryan, Jully and Jenny.

Digging through old essays, I came across these from my former 3rd-grade Korean students.

**TOPIC** Describe the thing that scares you the most and why.

~ I scare devile realy. Devile is very very bad. He come in ours mind and used to bad work. When the people do bad work, that is devile’s do. I’m scared my mom’s stick. When I say bad word, she hit very big power. And I cry loudly.
By: Amy

~I think test paper is very scary. You have good score you don’t have problem. but you very bad score you die to your mom.
By: Bill

~Ghosts are scare. One week ago. I see a Michale Jackson ghost. And I think they feel sad. Because they were died.
By: Andy

~I scared 6-flower. The 6-flower is his nickname. His look like dear. and He was fat. he walk on the floor the floor sound is BIG..he has a small eyes. He’s haed is BIG. Punch!! Boom!! Haha.. The End
By: Chaeliim

~I scared of my class mate bed boys. They are bed. They are hit and attack my friends. They are still anythink, bag,cellphone, water. They are vey bed boys I kill they but they are strong. They are watching bed video. no study. They are control my friends. I’m very scared and angry.
By: Kevin

~ I scared is killer. so I scared lipstick killer and Gang Ho-Soon killer. Why I scared killer? beacause They are kill the peson, so. I scared killer.
By: Cara

 

**I’m surprised “fan death” didn’t make the list!

fan-death

Fan death: The Korean superstition that a running fan in a closed space can suck all the air out of a room causing asphyxiation while you sleep.

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Immigration Reform: Building Communi-Tea in the Triangle

Church World Service RDU

Today’s post is written by blogger and CWS volunteer Ashley Brown

During the rain-filled weekend, the sun decided to make a special appearance last Friday as women of different nationalities, life experiences, and organizations came together for a common cause: immigration reform.  Colorful table cloths and flowers donned each table in preparation forthe interfaith teaparty and discussiontitled Ruth’s Journey: Building Communi-Tea, moderated byby well-known WRAL-TV news anchor, Renee Chou.  Refugee and immigrant women spoke together with their native born American friends about how they had worked together to improve life here in the Triangle.

Casey Smith, a high school student and CWS volunteer, was first to discuss her work as an English conversation partner for Aline, a

refugee from the Democratic Republic of Congo. After being raised in the DRC and then fleeing to Kenya, Aline and her young family are now settling in…

View original post 459 more words

The Best and Worst Medical Experience in Riyadh

BEST:

After passing an Aramex, Burger King, and Al-Rahji on the left, make the left at the fork in the road. Continue looking left. It's the 2nd or 3rd street across from shopping center. Smile Design is on the side of building, 2nd floor.

After passing an Aramex, Burger King, and Al-Rahji on the left, make the left at the fork in the road. Continue looking left. It’s the 2nd or 3rd street across from shopping center. Smile Design is on the side of building, 2nd floor.

 

Smile Design Dental

Suleymania Square

Mousa bin nuseir street

Riyadh, KSA

http://www.stylishsmile.com

The taxi meter creeps up in Riyals, as I search relentlessly for this dentist office known for its luxuriousness and cheap (insurance free) cleanings. As I make my 3rd tour around Suleymania Square, I’m ready to call it quits, until finally I find

Smile Design peeking from the side of a factory building. Perhaps I was looking for a royal-like exterior, instead of a cluttered side alley with an undefined dark entrance. The elevator doors of the 2nd floor open to a bright, airy lobby that steals all of the customers from the gloomy businesses downstairs. Suddenly, my Nike’s feel unworthy of stepping onto the polished cement floors of purple, glittery swirls. I would normally have thought of purple and glitter as quite gay, but now consider where in my house to put the combination.

Being the first customer since noon prayer, female dentists are just now making their way back in. A stunning receptionist, dressed as if she works for a high-end hotel, sits under an impressive chandelier. She asks in impeccable English of which services I’ll be needing. A simple cleaning doesn’t sound like enough, but I stick with the original plan. I take out a pen in preparation of filling out medical forms. Unexpectantly, my pen was met by her IPad. Portable online applications? Am I so far in the past, to not have seen this coming?

I go to the women’s waiting room and take a seat on the black and white furniture, encased by funky metallic walls. Pink cones and flowers accent the modern corner tables. And rare melodies of Enya play softly, so not to outshine the sounds of the waterfall feature at the entrance. I almost forget that I’m in Saudi, until I flip through fashion magazines with blacked-out faces, arms, and legs, for its modest readers.

The Filipina dentist, who ends every sentence with “Madame”, calls me into her high tech office of rotating chairs and gadgets.  This is nothing like the scary dentist appointments of your childhood. She hands me some earphones and turns on the television mounted to the ceiling above. A nature scenery plays, as she meticulously paid every tooth the same attention, unrushed. When it came time for the rinse, I had a flashback of the bubblegum “SWISH” from my elementary years. She ends every session with a flossing tutorial. Then she finishes off with honest recommendations and is patient with questions. That was the best dental experience ever. Out of the three dentists I’ve visited in this country, Smile Design wins hands-down!

WORST:durrat

 

Durrat Ghronata Medical Complex

Khalid Bin Whalid, Exit 8

(same corner as ROAM market)

Riyadh, KSA

This winter fills my apartment with brutal bouts of viruses and stomach bugs. Only because I can’t make it longer than a 10-minute taxi ride, is why I pay the dreaded visits to Durrat Ghronata up the road. Walking up to the counter, the receptionist glances at the ghastly pale and frail bodies that stand in front of her. Her questions are always short, never sweet. Prepare for the unprepared, as this facility lacks direction and organization.  I am told to go “somewhere” upstairs to sit in one of the three waiting areas, as opposed to the dingy red nurse’s lounge that I waited in last month. I go for the room with a play-set, as I assume that it’s designated solely for women and children. I opt out of the beige couch turned brown, and sit on the bench, conscious not to touch any railings.

A nurse suddenly comes with a small clear bottle and asks for a stool sample. Now… public bathrooms gross me out in general, let alone asking me to do #2 in public. After I find the facility’s only bathroom, I realize that it has a water-spray, instead of toilet paper. I know that works for some people, but I just can’t do it. So basically they’re not getting anything from me today. The nurse seems irritated when I come back empty handed. I’m sure she can’t go on command either…

When I finally see the doctor, I give him a run-through of the stomach virus. He asks how long this has been going on; the symptoms. But somehow he misses important questions like “What have you been eating/drinking?” and “Do you have any history of ____?” I offer him the answers to my own questions. In full abaya, he asks me to hop up on the table. Four deep breaths into the stethoscope, three taps on the stomach, he gives  a “Hmmmm” accompanied by a furrowed brow, and he’s done. I am sent to the emergency section for a saline drip and a prescription to keep food down. I’ve never taken a medical course in my life, but something tells me his degree is worth crap.

I’m a little wary of this assigned treatment, as the emergency “room” is simply rows of curtains, literally three steps away from the main lobby. My neighbor, behind a closed curtain, makes an unwelcoming cry of pain. I’m suddenly reminded of military triage where a soldier with a severed leg is treated right next to someone with a concussion.  I assume that I’d have to put on some type of hygienic clothing. However, my nurse tells me to just pull up the sleeve of my abaya. She walks out and I take a look at the surroundings. There are no handles to open the drawers of the old brown desk, adjacent to the bed. Instead, to open, one must pull on the medical silicon tubing that passes through the holes of where the missing knobs should be.  Old, torn floral wallpaper is the setting for the crafty handmade box used to stash needles. Thankfully, they are all wrapped. After being given two vials of saline, I’m immediately sent on my way. Maybe it’s just me, but it’s the temperature of Hell outside, in the dead of winter.  Drugged, I start counting the beads of sweat rolling down my body that somehow avoids getting soaked up by my encroaching black abaya.  Finally, I catch a taxi, but face the next challenge of remembering my destination in Arabic. In desperation, you can always remember a prayer. Mumbling a few “rights” and “lefts”, I’ve never so urgently wanted my bed and my toilet in my whole life. The driver could’ve taken me for all my money, without me knowing. I did not keep food, nor medicine down, that day.. or the next. I found that the saline basically put me to sleep to forget my hunger. Do your life a favor and just stay away from this clinic.

A Day in a Saudi Classroom

Assignment 4: Narration (Revision 11/30/15)

“Phones off! Phones in bags! Bags up front!”

‘Phone’ was a word that never needed translation, as these items were affixed to my students palms since Day 1. I’ve never seen such an addiction to social networking in my life, as they type pages of texts to their friends two classes over.

“But Teachuh…” starts the chorus of begging. “Teachuh, dictionary..” says Kahloud, as she points at her only lifeline.

“That must be a very long word you’re typing. I’ll be your dictionary.” She smiles at the sarcasm. In all honesty, it would save me a lot  of hassle if they solely used their phone dictionaries. I never quite understood how every semester I’d end up with high-level books for low-level students. Today’s vocabulary lesson was no exception.

“So, girls, how was your weekend?” I predict the responses to be about shopping and sleeping. Yet, I hope for more.

“I go shopping with my sister” says Hanan. “Sleeping… just”, says Noura.

I then look to my favorite (Yes, I have favorites..). Knowing that she’ll give me a unique response, I repeat the question. “How was your weekend, Sumayah?”

“I do nothing. But today, I see my teacher last semester, and she give me a beer!”

With raised brows, I’m sure that I heard her wrong. You can’t even bring vanilla extract into this country due to its alcohol content. Let alone, a beer!

“Umm, she gave you a what?” I casually ask.

“A beer”, Sumayah says nonchalantly.

Eyes to the sky, I’m searching for all of the words I’ve heard misused over these past two years.

“Can you spell it?”

“B-E-A-R” and then she looks at me like I’m the crazy one for not knowing what a bear is. Of course, I can’t explain the difference between bear and beer. The latter was an “Avoid” topic on the Culture Sensitivity List. So instead we spend 5 minutes doing word repetition, by saying everything we know about bears. They will not leave my class saying that Ms. Ashley taught them about beer.

We then start class with a reading about a man with 13 jobs, one of them being an “Undertaker”. This is a new word that takes every bit of effort, from drawing graves to acting out a funeral. After my performance at the front of the classroom, I get baffled stares. Then suddenly my one 40+-year-old, Amani, proudly shouts out.. “Ahhh, Teacher… Undertaker, like WWE!!” The class must not have seen the slight shaking of my head and lack of confirmation, as they erupted in “Ahhhs” and “ohhhs” of instant understanding.

At the bottom of my lesson plan is a space for notes.

Tomorrow: Phone Dictionaries

 

The Passage to Happiness

Assignment 3: Capturing Voices. Visit a place where several people are gathering. Eavesdrop on their speech, behavior, body language. Revision 11/29/15

DSCN2902

It’s Professional Development month. The teaching staff has survived another semester and now spends their break desk-warming and evaluating their futures. Paint by Numbers sets, knitting needles, and outdated books teaching formal Arabic have worn out their excitement. Each desk holds a pushpin board of extremely ambitious goals or countdowns to the next “break”. Hidden under her hijab, a comatose employee is stretched out on the couch, using her abaya as a makeshift blanket.

In sequence, teachers glance up at the clock wondering if the battery has died. Eight hours tick by slowly as clusters of women busy themselves with Koran study, sample potluck dishes, or share the all-too-familiar story of what has brought them to Saudi… money.  One woman, intending to be homebound when she is next inconvenienced, strikes away at job applications on her laptop. Next to her is yet another American/British debate.

“Why are they called biscuits and gravy?! Those are definitely scones and sauce!” Then comes a needed explanation of how the two ingredients go together anyway. “You Americans will eat all kinds of bits n’ bobs together. Especially when it comes to peanut bu–uh!” says the Brit, as they laugh in agreement and list off peculiar peanut butter combinations.

“I’m ready to go home”, the applicant says undirected at anyone in particular, as if thinking out loud. She has been a popular bet in private discussions of who would flee the country next. Unable to get job experience after university and having received one too many “We’re sorry to inform you” letters, it has turned a once optimistic professional into a chronic sigher.

“Should I go home to a life and family that makes me happy, but be jobless and dodge student loan collectors all month… and ruin my credit, if it isn’t already? Or be miserable and bored to tears, here, just to keep them paid and off my ass?” Her ‘pros and cons list’ has been drafted at many points throughout the year.

The questioning begins, where co-workers assess her skills, the job market, and her potential. “Well, are you, you know, like a ‘teacher-teacher’, or just teaching?” asks a real teacher who has found this her calling.

“I’m an Architect major..”

The group winces.

Doctors, lawyers, and hopeful retirees have found themselves teaching in Saudi after the downturn of the economy. The  moment of silence from the group says enough.

“Just one more month.. That’s all I can take..”

“Well, love, look at it this way. Here, you work half the time for double the money. We’ve been taking the piss this whole month! I don’t know about you lot, but we’d never find this back in the U.K.”, says the Brit with the obvious solution.

A few more opinions and trampled American Dreams and the applicant has impassively stated that she’ll finish the year. Unmindfully, she is shaking her head while voicing this decision.

“Just imagine how much you could save if you stuck it out for 5 years, got married to a teacher here, and doubled the income..” chimes one of the ‘lifers’.

With no response, the applicant’s eyes glaze over as she looks through the computer screen.

Devil is in the Details

Assignment 2 (Revision: 11/15/15): Direct Observation

DSCN3645

This is not my flat, btw (lol). But is along my scenic route.

Before I leave the serenity of my heated flat at 6:30 am, Saturday morning, and rush out into the crisp desert air of Saudi Arabia, I say a prayer.  Not to get me through the seemingly endless workday, or a prayer to keep the attention of SMS addicted students, but a prayer that I safely make it through the unpredictable 15-minute adventure to the university.

Jumping into the dirt-speckled taxi, I’m greeted by my old driver, Uncle Ahmed. “Good Morning, Zahrah!” .. My name is Ashley. However, Uncle Ahmed insists that a name must hold a meaning, and “from an ash tree” wasn’t good enough.

“You moat (dead)?!”, he asks. I apologize for my lateness. I wipe out a circle of condensation from the window to peer out. Uncle Ahmed uses his sleeve on the windshield and rolls down his window to see from a different angle. We teach him about the defrost button and he instantly lights up in amazement of this new invention.

We first pass a playground that holds abandoned balls, bottles, and bags from yesterday’s attendants. The cement football/soccer courts sit on the grounds of an old mosque, making it a temporary babysitter during prayer calls. We come to a median at an unnamed street, which would require a right turn, followed by a U-Turn. However, we always make the left onto possible oncoming traffic, until the break in the median. The motels along this street are identical, besides the unique designs of gated windows that encase its inhabitants. Guarding the door, one of the cleaners is occupying a set of airport benches.  Adjacent, a dusty old couch decorates the motel’s outdoor seating area.

We are now approaching what we call “the road of death”, a road left unnamed by city planners. We see our first hazard at the corner construction site, where foreign workers lift a spin saw to the 3rd story of the structure, by tying the handle to a rope. Piles of debris stretch carelessly out into the street.

Facing another mosque, we turn right. It’s pretty much a straight shot from here. The challenge is to navigate an unmarked road of perhaps 3-lanes, unpronounced speed bumps that we brace for by memory, and the absence of signals at crossings. Unbothered, the driver of a sputtering moped speeds past us, using a tightly wrapped scarf as his helmet. Our 65-year old driver slowly makes his way down the street, in comparison to the 20-somethings and occasional 14-year-old driving his mother to the store. Recycled, round trash receptacles line the road. Most of the trash misses the bin by mere inches, while one is used to contain a fire for the chilled workers.

A row of lively, green palm trees peek out from the stone fortress of a private villa. In contrast, outside its walls, it neighbors large piles of dusty rubble and stray cats.  Meanwhile, within the taxi, there’s a burst of conversation between my British co-workers “Oh, I hope my students don’t ____”, “Oh My Allah! Did you just see that ______?”, “Just 4 more weeks, ladies, until we _______”. I spend less time chiming in, and mentally prepare for the dreaded road ahead; the 4-way, 3-ish lane intersection without stoplights. Most of us have learned of common courtesy in driving school of how to execute this in a 1-lane, turn-taking, setting. However, patience is not applied here. We are now sitting in the center of a myriad of angry drivers, who clearly voice themselves with their horns and gestures that are universally understood. My driver gives back the same look and yells a stream of Arabic. One full year in Saudi and the extent of my Arabic is knowing how to say, “You crazy, mentally ill person” with fluidity.

Uncle Ahmed’s horn gets him through the traffic, and I can convince my heart to stop racing. The rest of the scenery helps, as everything else is predictable. We will always pass the smaller men’s only shops with unrushed patrons taking in their Arabic tea and breakfast foul. The cluster of pre-teen boys dressed in their crisp white thobes and checkered scarves always pick up a Pepsi from the local gas station on the way to school. And I delight in seeing rare English, as we pass the golden arches of Mickey D’s and a pharmacy, simply titled “Pharmacy”.

We have one more intersection, but thankfully this one comes with a traffic light. The very second it turns green, starts the blaring of every car horn, including ours. After the driver to our right, makes a left-hand turn, we’re in the clear. We make our final turn onto the backroads of the school, passing Arabic graffiti and a pink villa that stands out among the brown city. We hop out the taxi to join the dozens of veiled women in long, black abayas. A student greets me at the door. She smiles with stunning eyes and lavish accessories. I’m pretty sure it’s Ghada.

The Challenges of ESL in a Foreign Country

Teaching ESL, or English as a Second Language, is a great starter career for those holding a Bachelors degree… in anything! This is why you’ll often come across everyone from Art to Science majors travelling to the far ends of the Earth, with little to no experience. I started out as a Forensics and French major, teaching in Korea. No relation whatsoever!  But these years of travelling and soul searching, not only makes you stand out a little on paper, but also narrows down the careers that you don’t want to do, what luxuries you prefer not to give up, and what stresses you can and cannot handle long-term.

Depending on the country, ESL can get you a pretty lucrative salary or make you go broke. It can open your eyes to vibrant cultures, or make you hide for cover. The biggest impact of teaching English overseas, for me at least, is its ability to make you incredibly descriptive and creative with words… but at the same time makes you second think everything.  So, below, I listed my rules to getting through your teaching year without losing yourself.

 

1)   “Prepare” to get caught off guard

At one point of your year, you will have a student who questions everything! They will hit you with a grammar question that you won’t know the answer to. I get flustered easily with these. So what I do is applaud her for such a “great” question, and “since it’s more complex, and we’re low on time, I’ll answer that tomorrow.”  So to at least get me 24 hours to find a grammar wiz who knows. And as ambiguous as English is, sometimes there is no answer. Spelling “their”, “beautiful” and “guard” are the three words that I sometimes have to give second thought. I’ve seen the students spell these wrong so many times, that it starts to look right. So last month’s lesson was teaching them to use a paper dictionary, instead of asking me.

 

2)   Try not to question yourself too much

Because of these grammar questions, you may find yourself questioning everything you say. “Do I run quick? Or quickly?.. If I run quickly, then why can’t I run fastly, instead of fast?”. You can imagine how these thoughts can interrupt the ease of your conversations as well. When on Skype with family at friends at home, they often catch my grammar mistakes. The longer that I teach English at an elementary level, the more frequent I make these slip-ups.

 

3)   Don’t get caught up in the accent arguments

Living and working with every type of English accent on the planet, there are often debates on correct usage of words. I am adamant on retraining my British-taught students to pronounce “Z” like “zee” instead of “zed”. Amongst us, the teachers go back and forth mocking the Queens English versus American accent. Aubergine vs. Eggplant. “At the weekend” vs. “On the weekend”. I also think I should be able to hear the difference between “walk” and “work”.  From imitations, apparently all Americans sound like a “valley girl” or a “Redneck”. I’ve learned to laugh at these differences and stereotypes. Ultimately, we end up taking some of these, once awkward, phrases home with us.

 

4)   If all else fails, play Charades, Pictionary or Taboo.

I am often in situations where a picture or actions are the only way that I can get my point across.  When explaining the different consistencies of water to my students, I pointed to someone’s bottle of water, drew a snowman, and then pretended to slip on patch of ice.  A few of us teachers were curious about the location of the infamous “Chop Chop Square”, where executions take place. No amount of English could convey what we wanted to a nearby shopkeeper. But with the simple gesture of hand (signifying a sword) passing throat, we were pointed in the right direction.

 

5)   Don’t talk like your students

My students speak in very broken sentences. Instead of “Teacher, did you mark me late?”, they normally say, “Teacher, late?”. The easy way to get everyone’s understanding is to say, “Class, 7:30. 7:40, late.” However, this easy way out does not teach them proper sentence structure, and probably contributes to #2’s blunders. Just as, only doing baby talk to your toddler, probably wouldn’t help with their speech growth either.

 

Being an ESL instructor will give you great appreciation for the patience it takes to teach it. Many valuable experiences have come from talking to a local with little English. However, having a girls’ night of normal conversation has helped to keep my sanity. Another big help, is to keep reading. And write! It’ll reassure you that you have some intelligence left.

 

 

Who should choose your “freedom”? Saudi Arabia vs. Democracy

Should Democracy Be Forced on Saudi Arabia?

            Someone, outside of Saudi, asked me this question yesterday. If I were just arriving in this country, I would think this a common sense answer! I mean, who wouldn’t want to live in a democracy, right?? Who wouldn’t want the freedoms of religion, speech, church and state, and the right to bear arms? Americans ability to basically do as we please seems to make the general public happy. And what works for us should work for everyone else…

In comes Saudi Arabia.  This country, I must say, is unlike any other. Saudi is an absolute monarchy that has been heavily portrayed in media to be a trap, a desolate place for its women, and lacking of freedoms that “everyone” enjoys. Women can’t drive, its laws restrict most women from working (although this is changing), drugs and alcohol are prohibited in the country, it is gender-segregated, it is illegal to protest or say anything negative about the person in power, and women must cover in abayas.

The only thing that many people outside of Saudi don’t get the chance to see is that many Saudis may find the freedoms of democracy as detrimental. They love their country, how its run, and don’t want all of the changes. Democracy and Saudi don’t quite go together. And weirdly, I kinda agree.

You can’t separate church and state here. Saudi is 99.9% Muslim. Religion runs every part of everyone’s day, even if you’re non-Muslim. It is ruled by Sharia law (Islamic law) that has interpretations based on Saudi’s culture. Religious police are given the duty to enforce a dress-code standard. And shops shut 5 times a day, for 30 min-1 hr each, for prayer that blasts on loudspeakers across the country.  As a Christian, I don’t get a free pass to forgo all of these rules. To me, yes, it can be a headache. Especially when I want to go straight from work to buy bread at 3pm, but I must wait outside the shop till 4pm which postpones my nap, my workout, and dinner… However, for the other 99%, this is a constant reminder to keep God first, no matter what you have on your schedule. And I’m sure that whatever religion you (my readers) follow, you can appreciate that.

Freedom of religion for Saudi would not only start some uproar within the country, but possibly from Muslims outside. Saudi is like the ‘Holy Land’ for Muslims around the world. Islam hasn’t gotten the best rap after extremist acts from Al Qaeda and the 9/11 attacks. And consequently, even Muslims who believe in peace (the majority) have received a lot of hatred and assaults. Like the Saudi women, many foreign Muslims don’t see the cover-up as an obligation, but a preference. Saudi is an escape for many of these individuals; a place where they can wear their hijab (scarf) and/or niqab (face covering) without harassment. And just as Christians may cherish the journey to Jerusalem and would like for it to stay a Christian site, every Muslim hopes to keep Mecca and Medina of Saudi Arabia.

Driving only seems like a freedom/luxury to western minds, depending on whom you ask. I personally enjoy wandering aimlessly around town, with the windows down, blasting whatever I want. However, there are those who see driving as a chore. It’s thought to be a luxury if you can afford your own personal driver, being able to sit in the back and take a nap until you reach your destination. That’s how many Saudi women see it. They don’t have to worry about pumping gas, following directions, insurance, tune-ups. Plus, in this country of only male drivers, you can imagine the impatience and swerving of the speed-demons behind the wheel. I wouldn’t want to drive in this country either!

Same thing with working.. How many women in the U.S. wouldn’t mind being able to have a life as a housewife, especially if you are given a nanny and a maid? Your time is basically freed up of all responsibility. Once again, I’d probably more enjoy a life working a purposeful job. But in the near future, these Saudi women will be able to work because they want to, not because they have to.

When you first step off the plane into Saudi, there’s a sign that says, “Drug trafficking equals death”.  Alcohol is not publicly sold in the country either. Now, there are many days when this country does me in, and I feel like need a drink. But, I will applaud the government for being able to keep a handle on its country by applying these rules. Let’s be honest, drugs and alcohol is the start of many confrontations, accidents, and abuses. To attempt to eliminate the access of these into a country was a smart move. Saudi Arabia is basically run by expats, people who aren’t used to these restrictions. So you may not want alcohol involved, or they’d quickly start voicing their democratic opinions (and get kicked out of the country or jailed).

Lastly, there’s the gender segregation. If I was single, this one would be quite hard for me; but only because in the West, we are in constant interaction with men. Men give a nice balance in point of views. I could always go to my female friends if I want a little gossip and emotion; the men if I need a more logical opinion, less feelings involved. Call that statement slightly sexist if you want. But, more often than not, that’s how it goes.. If I have something heavy to lift, I don’t need to lift a finger. It’s pleasant to have something sexy to look at, and not be ashamed to actually look. Plus, they smell nice… For single expat women, this seems to be one of their biggest complaints. However, for a Saudi woman who has spent her whole life segregated, she can’t really miss something she’s never had. I can imagine that these male-female interactions, for them, would be quite awkward and intimidating. I don’t know the statistics, but in comparison to blended-gender societies, I would believe that Saudi’s percentages of rapes (date and stranger) are significantly less.

Now although I studied Diplomacy, I’m not a huge political person. I wrote all this to say that democracy is just not for everyone. Perhaps one day, Saudi would pick certain features to adopt, but to make any democracy work; you would need the general public’s consensus. Without their participation, you are bound to have a few riots on your hands. Despite how it looks from the outside, I believe the majority of Saudis citizens are quite proud of their country and would be fine without change.

Top Ten Books that make you go “Hmmm..”

Being an avid reader, I always make time to find a good book. This is especially the case here in Saudi, where a lot of my time is idle. Here’s my top ten book reviews, in no particular order.

"The Kite Runner"

* “The Kite Runner” By: Khaled Hosseini

This is one of my all-time faves! Don’t let the title bore you. For that reason, I had this book on my shelf for years without opening it. All I knew of Afghanistan was war, terrorism, and poverty. So to see the start of this book portray Kabul as a beautiful ancient city, with wealthy sectors, and children who enjoy familiar activities, was an unexpected touch. This story is about a motherless young boy, named Amir, who struggles with his high social status and desire for his father’s affection and approval. He grows up with Hassan, his incredibly loyal servant boy. Just as most kids who are quick to make friends, they form a close relationship. So close, that Hassan’s 1st word was his boy-master’s name. However, this unique bond is challenged due to their tribal differences, jealousy, and a conspired separation. This book takes you through the family’s sudden decent during the war, Amir’s betrayal to his best friend, and their experiences escaping Kabul. This book gives a good mix of personal and political events, that makes it a page-turner with underlying Afghan history.

* “A Thousand Splendid Suns” By: Khaled Hosseini

After reading “The Kite Runner”, Hosseini was the author at the top of my radar. His 2nd book, “A Thousand Splendid Suns”, is a story of 3 generations of Afghan women, during the reign of the Taliban. One who is forced into a young marriage after the death of her mother. One who is orphaned due to war. And one who lives an isolated life because of an unsupported pregnancy. It’s easy to think that this would be a story of weak, quieted women, behind veils. However, these three have shown me that women, in general, no matter where in the world we are… we are fighters for love, freedom, and power. Their lives become intertwined for an unforgettable ending.

* “Left To Tell” By: Immaculee Ilibigiza

Immaculee was a student in Rwanda, who grew up in a highly respected family. The scenery of Mugabe and Lake Kivu is so vividly described that you imagine a vacation getaway, instead of the massacre that had transformed the country. Into her teenage years, Immaculee was quite naïve of the prejudices existing between the Hutu and Tutsi tribes of Rwanda. This alluring country was suddenly turned upside down by the Rwandan genocides, that led to over a million Tutsi deaths. Being an educated woman from a prominent Tutsi family, Immaculee was at the top of the “Wanted” list. After being split up from her family, a Hutu preacher took the risk of hiding her and 7 other women in a 4×3 bathroom, for 91 days. Every 12 hours they took turns sitting down in the cramped space. With only a toilet and a shower stall, flushing or running water was a risk of being caught, as they could hear the killers outside the window hunting for them. She struggled with hatred for the Hutu killers, until she found her only relief, through prayer. During these 3 months, is when Immaculee finds God; not by pleading for her life, but instead by learning to forgive her enemies. She was left to tell her story of survival.

* “Eat, Pray, Love”, By: Elizabeth Gilbert

Out of all of the books that I have read, I cannot find a more likeable character than “Liz”. She’s a recent divorcee, who realizes that she doesn’t want to waste away anymore time in depression and dwelling on the past. She unearths her old fun and carefree personality, frank humor, and wild curiosity as she decides to randomly hop a flight and find herself. Like most daydreamers, Liz takes in every event with all senses, and the dialogue of the story reflects a lot of her quirky thoughts. First she travels to Italy (to enjoy pleasure). Here she learns what it’s like to purposely lose track of time, enjoy food, and let loose. Then she goes to live in a monastery in India (to study the art of devotion). She learns to simply meditate until she finds healing from previous relationships. And lastly, in Indonesia, she builds unexpected relationships, where she learns to love again. This book is more for the open-minded, wannabe travelers, with big imaginations. The movie sucks in comparison, so read 1st. The quotes in this book are outstanding. You will highlight every page!

Two favorite quotes (so hard to narrow it down!)

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.”

You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.”
Elizabeth Gilbert,
Eat, Pray, Love

4 Hour Workweek”, By: Tim Ferriss

24 hours in a day, just doesn’t feel like enough time to work 2 jobs, cook, clean, plus squeeze in a workout. Lately it seems like everyone’s been working themselves to complete exhaustion, but not really having much to show for it. That is why I picked up this book! This book teaches you how to be smart with you time, work less, while making more money. It gives tips on how to convince your boss to let you work from home, how to put timed blocks on your computer so you don’t waste hours on social networks and email, how to give instructions to avoid back-and-forth questioning from employees, and also tells you how to afford “mini-retirements” throughout your career. It not only deals with work advice, but also how to get discounted airfare and free international housing. It advises on how to outsource even the simplest tasks, such as making and canceling appointments, so to free up time for larger tasks. And also how to afford random vacations and still make money while away. In summary, this book is definitely not a waste of time!

*“First They Killed My Father”, By: Loung Ung

Loung is a 5 year old girl, who lived in a middle class family, in Cambodia. Being of this status brought pride to the family, until the takeover of the Khmer Rouge, Pol Pot’s ruling party. The Khmers were of lower class, and sought to exterminate all Cambodians who were intellectuals. Luong tells of her and her family’s experiences during the Khmer Rouge genocides that killed over 1 million people through execution. The family spent days fleeing the city by foot, and faced months of starvation. After eventually being split up to increase their chances of survival, young Luong was made into child soldiers so to have a “better” life. This one will put a lump in your throat, to think of a child who has seen and gone through so much!

*“How to Win Friends and Influence People”, By: Dale Carnegie

This New York Times bestseller is helpful for everyone; whether you are shy, a sales person, or someone who often gives presentations. It teaches you how to receive positive responses when you talk to others. You will learn what exactly people want to hear and why we are wired that way. I first picked up this book thinking that it would give a lot of common sense tips. There are simple principles, such as, “Principle No 1: Don’t Criticize, Condemn or Complain”, “Principle No 2: Fulfill Others’ Desires to Feel Important”, and “Principle No 3: You Cannot Influence People by Telling Them What You Want”. However, these are things that I almost constantly need to be reminded of. So this book isn’t one of those ‘one-time’ reads, which makes me feel like I really got my money’s worth.

Abraham’s Well”, By: Sharon Ewell Foster

I first picked up this book years after my grandfather once told me that I had a great aunt that walked the “Trail of Tears”. At the time, he never went into detail, and I never asked for more. So when I read a synopsis on this book, about the Black Cherokees of North Carolina, I had to buy it! The main character, Armentia, is a young girl born on the edge of slavery while trying to still identify with her Cherokee side. This book has blunt details of the 1,000 mile forced movement of Cherokees from N.C. to Oklahoma and the difference of treatment between full-blood and half-blood Cherokees.. details that you’ll rarely find in textbooks. There are little sections of the story that drag, but be reassured that it will pick up again!

48 Laws of Power”, By: Robert Greene

I’m actually not anywhere near finished with this book. I started and left it in the States, due to its large size. But found a pocket-size copy here, last week. But the fact that it’s made it on my list this early on, should tell you that it’s an interesting read. This book may be a little controversial to some, only because it teaches you how to get ahead of the game, even if you have to step on someone else to get there. By the way, this book is written in the point of view of rulers and great leaders of the sciences. It quotes a lot from Machiavelli, who wrote the famous political piece “The Prince”, which advises on how to takeover kingdoms. So, I’d only advise people who already have high ethical standards to read this one. My reason for reading it: it gives an interesting touch on history and ties to modern day, it’s beautifully and uniquely written …. and most of all, to be less naïve of the conniving tactics some people take to get ahead, especially if it’s against me.

Bible for Dummies”, By: For Dummies series

I am far from being a wiz at my Biblical knowledge of “who did what, where, and why”. Many parts of the Bible can be up to interpretation. And this part, I actually do enjoy. However, there are parts where I’d like some nice hard facts; like, “What are the rules of Biblical war?”, “What was the exact route of the exodus out of Egypt?”.. This book goes deeper into the historical account of the Bible stories we learned as a child, gives explanation to Hebrew words, summarizes a text in modern-day language, and gives interesting geographical tidbits. It gives it’s own interpretation of some accounts, such as the presumed location of Sodom and Gomorrah. It is thought to be near the Dead Sea, which explains a lot about the fate of Lot’s wife. “The salt content of the Dead Sea is about 30%, making it impossible for anything to live in it (hence, the name). Yet, because of this high salt content, salt deposits appear all along its banks. Therefore, one walking through this region would notice a lot of “pillars of salt”. Jordan has never really been on my list of places to visit, but facts like these keeps my travel list growing!

**** What’s your favorite read?? Any suggestions on what I should check out next?****

Go Hungry for a Change

I am a Christian living in an Islamic country. It would have been totally ignorant of me to enter Saudi Arabia and not read up on the basics of what Saudi Muslims believe. Without personally knowing a single Muslim, I had to find my information in the most random of places. I browsed blogs, camped-out in Barnes and Nobles, FaceBooked public Saudi profiles. These attempts were made mainly because I try not to offend, if I can help it.. Of course there will be slip-ups; like crossing my legs with the soles of my shoes up, or mentioning how much I’d love a piece of bacon.. but I try to be respectful with the knowledge I’ve acquired so far.

I’ve come to find so much love for two fabulous ladies in this country. One happens to be Muslim and the other Atheist. We make a VERY interesting trio, to say the least .. We all exchange our beliefs and why, but we never end in a heated conversation; always in respect, and often cracking a slight joke in the end. Although none of us will probably ever convert to the other, we are friends who’ve offered and listened to sound opinions, great entertainment, and a have been a shoulder for homesickness. They’re good people, in my book!

Last week was the ending of the Islamic month of Ramadan. I’ve heard of it, but honestly only knew that I’d be vacationing during that time. So, to gain a little understanding on what a good percentage of the world was doing, I interviewed my friend, Amaal, about this time of the year.

1) So what exactly is Ramadan?
Ramadan is a period in which all Muslim adults ‘fast’, or abstain from certain activities. It is one of the five basic tenets/pillars of Islam. It lasts for 30 days, and each day we fast from sunrise to sunset. It’s the month of mercy, blessings and forgiveness. During this time, Muslims are completely immersed in their connection with God. They persevere in doing righteous deeds, pray often and read the Quran (Muslim’s holy book) as much as they can.

2) What must you refrain from?
Food, drink and sexual activity

3) Does it last only certain hours of the day?
Yes, it lasts for a range of hours depending on which country you’re in and what time the sun rises and sets.

4) What is your favorite Ramadan memory?
Ramadan is a beautiful way of bringing family together. I love breaking fast with my family, sitting down all together to eat. I also love going to night prayers. These are special prayers that occur only during Ramadan. You go to the mosque and pray for about an hour, and read chapters of the Quran. This is truly a spiritual booster.

 5) How is Ramadan in Saudi Arabia, in comparison to your home country?
Well I come from England and that is extremely different. Saudi Arabia is a Muslim country and therefore it abides by Islamic law. I’ve been in a Muslim Country 3 times for Ramadan and every time it always feels like it’s Ramadan. People are all doing the same thing. They are unified in their worship and acts. People are extremely charitable, they give each other goods, they pay for the needy to be fed in Ramadan, and they share whatever they have. Whilst in Riyadh, what I’ve witnessed consistently is the constant giving of food and water to anyone and everyone. One time I was in a car and we were just about to break fast and people came around to our car window and gave us water and dates. This moved me. I’ve been taught that nothing is free in this world so to be given free food is shocking. But these acts aren’t even one of a kind; they happen constantly throughout the Muslim world.

6) How do you celebrate the breaking of fast?

At the end of the day, we actually mourn the end of fasting because it signifies the end of our spiritual detox. A good Muslim’s heart longs for the next Ramadan to come quickly and prays to see the next one.

At the end of the 30 days, however, we have a celebration called Eid. This is where all families come together, get dressed in their new attire and have a good day out or within their own houses. On the morning of Eid, we go to mosque to pray the ‘Eid prayer’. People exchange greetings and children are given sweets and money. Communities come together and celebrate. We also pay a charitable sum of money on that day. This goes towards feeding the poor and needy.

7) How is the environment around you during fasting and non-fasting hours?
Riyadh is quiet because during fasting hours not much is open. Food outlets in Saudi are usually closed, people stay in their homes and wait for the break of fast. They use their time to involve themselves in acts of worship. The beauty of Ramadan is that it pushes you away from the worldly things that often distract you from worshiping God. So during fasting hours, Muslims are meant to use that time to be productive. Non-fasting hours in Saudi is when everything and everyone ‘wakes up’, so to speak. Shops and restaurants are open, people come out and the city comes to life again.

8) How has normal daily tasks been affected?
Well, people can still go out and shop and go with their daily tasks, the only thing they aren’t allowed to do in a Muslim country is eat in a public place. Pretty much anything else can be done during the day.

9) How are non-Muslims handling it? Have they changed their activity hours?
I’m sure they are finding it hard. They aren’t allowed to eat in a public place, so I guess the less tolerant of them are annoyed. Most non-Muslims are very respectful, though. In fact many are happy because their hours of work are reduced during Ramadan.
10) Now that Ramadan is coming to an end, how do you feel?
In all honesty, I’m upset. This month is like a beloved friend that departs from your house and you must wait another 11 months for its goodness to return. Many think fasting hard and draining but it’s the opposite for a practicing Muslim. Knowing that every deed you are doing is exclusively for God can only make it an easy endeavor. I almost cried at the last sunset, signifying the end of Ramadan. But the celebrations of Eid somewhat eased the pain.

 

 

**I wrote this post, not only to be educational. But also so that different religions can learn to be more  tolerant of others. Many religions practice and find importance in fasting. By knowing the of similarities that we have, perhaps individuals wouldn’t be as quick to judge. With that being said, any disrespectful comments/responses against any religion will be deleted**